I don't know what to do with myself half the time I am awake. And when I sleep I feel that I should be awake. And then soon I will not be able to sleep again cuz I can't afford my sleeping pills or my other meds. I will be on my own and lost in my head. I am paranoid to not in a bad way you know heh. I just can't be alone its sad I know pathetic even but that's who I am and what happens to me.
Some people understand and help me through it but when there is no one, I feel helpless and like I am drowning in a pool of tar. Maybe life can get better, I only hope that I will feel better each day.
I know I am me, but who is me really. . . . and how can I find me in the jumble of the other. how can I swim to the surface and smile once again without faking it or just having surface feelings.
